Know Thyself. – inscribed in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi
In our last post How to Regain the Courage to Be You – Part 1 we talked about one of the biggest common fears – especially for women – the fear of being wholly ourselves. And we talked about what you can do to start embracing the courage to be more of yourself and about being more conscious about what you’re doing so you can break the habit of giving pieces of yourself away.
Today in part 2 we’re going to dive a little deeper into regaining the courage to be yourself, and talk about our habit of meeting the needs of others at the expense of our own happiness,
You don’t have to look hard to find examples of women who put the needs of others in front of her own – even to her detriment:
- the woman who doesn't eat right and hasn't done a lick of exercise since she gave birth
- the woman who downplays her minimizes her accomplishments because she doesn't want anyone around her to feel bad
- the woman who finds no time for her marriage because she’s taking care of an ageing parent
- the woman who is afraid to tell her significant other they are making her mad because she’s afraid of upsetting them
- the woman who volunteers for everything because she is afraid of saying no
- the woman or girl who has a husband or spouse who treats her poorly
- the woman who lets her boss or friend talk down to her
- the woman who downplays or feels very uncomfortable about getting a compliment (next time try just saying “thank you”)
These are all signs of a woman who doesn't feel as great about herself as she should. You might even see yourself in one or more of these women.
As women we are wired to take care of others – it is part of our instinct to respond to our children this way so the species thrives and we apply that instinct to everyone around us. And we certainly don’t have to be a mother, or even want to be one, to be ruled by this instinct.
We are often taught that part of being a “good girl” and fulfilling our roles as women is about giving up our own needs and time and energy in order to help someone else achieve what they want. Society may not say this to us outright but the pressure to do this is all around us. When we see our mum devoted to everyone else except herself we learn that is what we should do to. If we don’t we are considered self-centered and selfish and
Yes, certainly, there are times when we must temporarily pause our own needs to take care of someone else (a new baby, a dying parent). That is part of being human. However, when that “pause” becomes
If you find yourself consistently taking care of others in some way or another at the expense of your:
Then you need to reconsider your choices and actively work on regaining the personal courage to be wholly yourself and to make choices which support that.
Here is a good rule of thumb to use when it comes to making life choices – including
Here at IVI
Take a moment to think about the women you know. Now think about how many of those women
When did we decide that it’s okay to take care of everyone other than ourselves?
Well, we’re saying stop the madness! It’s time to Embrace Your Real Beauty to live in a way that feeds and fuels your self-worth, and to stop making choices that are under the guise of helping others but are really devaluing you.
The bottom line? You can
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