“You can’t spell AWESOME without ME.”
In Part 1 of How to Regain the Courage to Be You, we discussed some of the things that keep us from giving to ourselves - such as stereotyping and the pressure to maintain status quo.
In Part 2 we talked about how, as women, we often put the needs of others in front of our own – even to the detriment of our own health,
Now, in Part 3 we are going to focus on what being yourself really means and some of the ways you can make that part of your reality today.
Why You Should Really Care About Being Yourself
Bear with us as we delve into a little philosophy.
The true nature of self and personal authenticity is hard to pin down and philosophers have argued for countless years on what “self” really means. But this one seems to work well:
“The unimpeded operation of one’s true or core self in one’s daily enterprise.”
The phrase “be yourself” has become one of those terms which we bandy about without truly being in touch with what it even means. We might even view it as a simple bit of philosophy that makes for good conversation at parties but is not really important beyond that. However, according to what studies show us being
- your vitality
- your self-esteem
- and your ability to cope
All of those are vital “life nutrients” which we require for happiness and well-being.
How to See Yourself as You Really Are
Seeing yourself as you really are and having a good sense of
- defining ourselves by the past
- defining ourselves by how others see us
- expecting perfection
- comparing ourselves to others
Let’s be honest with each other. We’ve all had those moments we are not proud
- You are not that person who flunked the math test in 6th
- You are not that person who tripped flat onto your face in front of your boss 2 decades ago.
- You are not that person who didn’t get asked to dance
- Or the girl whose college boyfriend didn’t want to marry her (thank goodness as you look back!)
Those may have been moments in your life but they are not who you are. When you give great power to past moments to the extent of feeling like you are still that person, then you are now allowing that you grow with every life moment and you are not seeing who you truly are right now. Not only does this keep you from understanding your core self but it creates an unhappiness because of the disconnect between your authentic self and how you see yourself; it creates a heaviness because you are unable to make choices that work for you – right now. (For more on this read our article Illuminate Your Spirit, Illuminate Your Life).
No wonder so many women do not feel fully happy!
So how can we fix that? How can we take all those incorrect perceptions we have of ourselves and get back into touch with our true self?
How can you regain the courage to be yourself? Begin here, with these 3 things:
- When someone asks you who you
are don’trespond with what you do. For instance, “I’m a mum.” Respond instead with a personal core value such as “I am kind.” Or something such as “I am a person who helps transform lives.” When you do this it also helps those around you do this also.
- Think about some of your daily activities. Are you doing things often that are at odds with your values? Are you going day after day without doing anything you are personally passionate about? Yes, you love your children, but you are much more than someone who mothers. You need to give yourself permission and time to let your spirit soar by doing things you are creatively excited about. If you are not doing this on a regular basis change that today.
- When you have a thought or response pause and think about it. Does the thought or response advance your spiritual or personal well-being and growth? You’d be amazed at how self-sabotaging you can be with yourself. Be aware, you believe what you tell yourself about yourself. If you are constantly thinking negatively or saying things like “I’m so stupid” stop right now. Words hold great power so stop being an enemy and work on becoming a friend to yourself.
Being yourself is a liberating experience. Once you commit to doing this for yourself and start walking down the path of personal authenticity you’ll have more energy, more creative flow, you’ll be able to hear your gut, and you’ll be able to make decisions that help build the kind or life you want and deserve.
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